The Girl Gamer: July 2006

Jul 31, 2006

My Top Five Worst Games Ever

1. Grand Theft Auto series

Okay, yes these games were unique and innovative. Yes, they had this huge city to play in without any loading times during your trip around the city, and yes, the graphics were great. But I still hate these games. Each game is one big stereotype, the missions are damn near impossible, and the save points are inconvenient. Plus my idea of fun is not beating on hookers, carjacking taxis, or listening to stereotypical fag characters scream as I beat them with a baseball bat. I don't have anything against games like this being played. Adults are entitled to their mature rated games, but I personally don't like playing this kind of crap.

2. X-Men Legends

Let's see: the graphics looked like something of the Super NES, the character voices were horrible and the game AI was like watching a bunch of retarded super heroes run around after eating too much sugar. I played this game for 15 minutes and then shut it off, because it was so bad. Only good thing about this game is that I paid ten bucks for it and got a trade in value of fifteen bucks. Score five bucks for me.

3. Shadow of Rome

This game had promise, until I realized there was no in game tutorial, no instruction manual and the worse health item system ever. You apparently needed to pick up food you find throughout the game and quickly press the A button to eat it as fast as possible to regain health. The game doesn't tell you this and if it did I missed that point, because I died like crazy and don't remember even finding food in the game. The controls were impossible and the graphics were even worse. You end up walking through people in battle and missing your opponents all the time, because your sword goes through them like ghosts without making contact. I got rid of this game after only playing it twice. Heck I couldn't even play this game after using the Game Shark to cheat.

4. Goblins

This was the point and click game of evil. I was addicted to it, because I couldn't actually pass the second level without cheating. The puzzles weren't easy at all, and yet it looked like a kid’s game because of its funny cartoon like graphics. Those evil Goblins will forever tease me in my nightmares and all because I couldn't finish that pain in the butt game! Worse of all, I played it in the days before the internet and game sites like GameFAQ.com. I was doomed from the start.

5. Shadow of Destiny

What a piece of rendered crap this was. Thankfully I bought it used, but had I actually paid good money for this garbage I would have been peed off. This game had a neat concept of being able to travel through time to change the events of the present, but the game play was slow, the graphics crappy, and being able to actually figure out what to do was impossible. Plus if you made the wrong move in the past, you died because you caused yourself from being born in the future, so something that effect.

My Ten Top Favorite Games Ever

1. Final Fantasy X

I actually bought a PS2 just to get this game. I remember how cool it was to hear Final Fantasy characters talk for the first time. The storyline was so in depth and the graphics were incredible. I love how you could switch out characters for another one at any time, instead of going to a save point to change your party. I love the whole Final Fantasy series, but if I had to just pick one, this is the one I loved the most.

2. Shadow Hearts

I picked this game up at a trade in store for like $20 bucks (Canadian) and it was one of the best buys ever. This RPG still had the fun of the Final Fantasy games, but the game actually had some of its own unique elements which I liked. The judgment ring system was hard to get use to, but once I did, it was easy to master. The characters were great and Yuri, the main hero had this great twisted sense of humour which I loved.

3. Day of the Tentacle

I grew up on Lucas Arts game, and this was definitely the best one. The humour of the game and the cartoon graphics made this so damn funny to play. My favorite quote is Laverne talking about how a microwave can really pop a hamster. I actually downloaded a copy of this and set it up on my computer with dosbox just to play it. The sound is a little screwy though, so I may have to download scumm instead.

4. Super Mario Bros. 3

This had to be the best game in the Mario series. The graphics were incredible at the time for the Nintendo system and the game kept me playing for hours. I love playing as Mario in the shoe or the frog suit. The two player game was great as well; because you could have any easily pick up the game and play with you. I remember playing one time, and somehow ended up with an inventory full of p-wings. I still to this day don't know how I got them.

5. Dragon Warrior

This game was my first RPG and the beginning of my obsession with RPGs. My mom got me a subscription to Nintendo Power long with my NES system and this game came free with it. I remember being so mad when my sister finished the game before me. I still play the Dragon Warrior series today as I just finished Dragon Quest 8 a week ago. My favorite enemy was the Gold Golem because of all the gold you got from them.

6. Resident Evil

I actually had to build up the courage to play this game, because I hate Zombies. Love all other forms of things that go bump in the night, but I really hate Zombies. I played through the Gamecube version of this game, and have loved the series ever since. I still get a little jumpy when a zombie jumps out at me, but it makes it more fun to play that way. I still think Wesker is a hunk too, even with the weird powers.

7. Pikmin

I love cutesy games. I know it’s all girlie and crap to say that, but hey, I'm a chick and we love cute things. If I didn't, I'd have a snake, instead of a dustmop dog. I got this game as one of my first Gamecube games, and now I could play it forever. Pikmin is a game that you could play over and over again just to beat your high score. The pikmin are so cute, and the whole idea of the game is fun and unique. My last roommate's kid actually got me into this game. I really need to pick up the 2nd game in the series though.

8. The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past

I am a huge fan of the Zelda series, but this had to be my favorite. The graphics were great for the Super Nintendo, and since I actually finished this version, I liked it even more. (Never finished the first two Zeldas.) All the different items Link got were fun to play with and beating up on the chickens until they attacked was so cool. I still remember the song that played when you used the flute to warp.

9. Warcraft 2

This was first game I ever played online with. Of course, I got my butt kicked, but it was still fun to know you were playing against a friend when they were at home at their own computer. I use to play this game on the network at school as part of the computer club's reward each week. This game started my love for RTS games, and for those lovely little orcs. I use to click on them like crazy just to hear them say stuff like "Whatchu want?", and "Hee Hee, That Tickles." I also liked clicking on the animals in the game to make them blow up. Does anyone remember the Disco song that was on the expansion disk?

10. Mortal Kombat

My mom bought me this by accident, because I really didn't like fighting games at the time, but once I sat down and starting playing it, I was bound and determined to finish it. I used Johnny Cage to finish it once, and then never made it to the end ever again. Goro was so hard to beat that I only got pass him the one time. I love the movie that was made out of this game too. I am still trying to find a copy to buy. After this game, I bought Street Fighter 2 Turbo and I've loved 2D fighting games since.

Jul 28, 2006

So You Think You're a Hot Gamer Guy?

Time for everyone to put their money where their mouth is.

I getting hundreds of comments on my site and other sites talking about my hot industry guy list and most of them are complaining that the list sucks. Hey I didn't make it, I just ran the webpoll for my readers. But I understand your pain and wanna make everyone happy. So....

You think you have a hotter video game industry guy for my list, then send me a short bio and a picture of the guy (or yourself) and I'll post a new guy on my site each week.

Email the pictures to faithnaked@yahoo.ca Subject: Industry guy

And hate mail is welcome too.

Is Gears of War spamming Xbox Live users?

Posted Jul 27th 2006 6:25PM by Robert Summa

Tipsters bring word that perhaps some people within the Gears of War camp are spamming a few Xbox Live users. We were under the impression that Microsoft frowned upon the use of these kinds of tactics; in fact, the lack of spam is definitely one of the positives of the whole service. Either way, an Xbox Live user named MFenix (Marcus Fenix is the main character in GoW) is messaging users with the following:

We need your help. Can't talk now. Don't know who to trust. Will send more tomorrow.

Then followed up with:

Thank you for your help. Don't trust messages from anyone but myself and Dom. He's using the covert name of LocustHordeH8r. They are everywhere, and even classified information sent here could be compromised. We're working on a code. More tomorrow.

We've contacted Microsoft and they have refused to comment on the rumor or speculation. During the whole MI:3 fiasco, Microsoft's position was this:

The recent communication to the customer was NOT sanctioned by Xbox Live. Microsoft's position is that the community will and should manage itself, through providing gamers with a voice they in turn take ownership and responsibility for their experiences. Supporting this, Xbox Live has a robust feedback system in place for situations exactly like this. If required, gamers can file a complaint in the system to report inappropriate behavior or language, which Microsoft will follow-up and investigate fully.

Have any of you gotten this? Also, what's your take on using Xbox Live as a place for spam or viral marketing?

[Thanks, Paul and Michael Piazza]

Source: www.joystiq.com

Personally Response:

I read this article and personally I don't think of this as spam. Spam is annoying viagara ads and stupid cash scams that fill your email box with total crap. They're ads that just annoy you and have no purpose what so ever, except to con idiots that are stupid enough to open them and click on the links.

This is not spam. Even if Epic is doing the contacting, this is a cool concept. They're trying to bring the world of Gears of War to the players by playing out the main character and the storyline. If I got contacted by the character it would be cool just to follow the messages to the end. Besides if you don't like the messages, ignore them. It's not like the messages are hitting you in the hundreds. Just one message isn't spam. It's creative advertising.

Jul 27, 2006

The Video is Available from the Interview

Head over to Destructoid.com and check out the interview on me on Attack of the Show!

Click Here to See it

Its was so awesome. I'll post details here later tomorrow.

Jul 26, 2006

Time to Redesign this Place

I'm looking for someone who's really good at website designs or graphics to make me another template for this site.

With all the web traffic I've been getting lately - Almost 5000 hits in 2 days - I figured maybe I should have a better looking site. See I know basic coding but nothing that will make my site look good.

So if anyone is interested in throwing me together a new template or even just some cool graphics to work with my girl gamer theme, that would be sweet. Just something done in your free time. No rush. I would appreciate all the help everyone can give me.

Message me or comment. My email address is in my profile.

Thanks!

NOTE: I can't afford to pay to have this done. Sorry for that.

Jul 25, 2006

My 15 Minutes of Fame?

Since yesterday I've been on a huge ass high, and its all because of a list that I thought was too crap to even finish in the first place. What a weird world!

A while ago I created a webpoll for gamers to nominate and then vote on their favorite hottie video game guys and there was a bit of tension from some of the readers. I almost gave up on it, but I figured its my site, and screw anyone who can't have a little fun with it.

So I did the list and got a minor response for the actually nominations, but a big response for the votes. So with over 500 votes, I got the list, but not the amount of industry guys to go on it that I was hoping for.

Not happy with the list, I only posted about it on my own site, and my space blog. I even decided to mention it to Brian at Kotaku.com, which is what I think started the whole thing.

Yesterday I got an email from S. Johnson, the guy who does the Feed blog on G4.com and he wrote the following:

Hey, faith.

Your blog post made the email rounds at G4, and we posted Kevin P’s response on our blog. Thought you might want to check it out:

Link Here

Your blog is awesome.

I check it out and screamed for an hour afterwards. It was so cool!

I was hoping that the article would be on the actual show, but S. told me no, that he only did the blog stuff. It was still cool.I check on my site meter, and discovered more then G4tv.com picked up the piece.

www.kotaku.com

http://www.gamegirladvance.com/

http://community.livejournal.com/girl_gamers/

http://blogs.ign.com/Cookie-IGN - She made her own list

www.errormacro.com

And somehow I got linked by the employee boards at www.neversoft.com, the forums at G4tv.com and the forums at IGN.com.

Finally I got this message from Kevin Pereira this morning:

So after a phone call and a trip to Future Shop, I will be on Attack of the Show tomorrow for a phone in interview.

Please watch G4's Attack of the Show at 7pm Live EST/PST for my coming out party... You'll get to see me and hear my real name finally. Scary, isn't it?

Jul 20, 2006

Evil Dead with Music... WICKED!

'Evil Dead' Rises Again, Now Off Broadway

The trend for Broadway shows to be based on popular films continues unabated but this twist reported in Variety today is actually kinda cool. The production team of George Reinblatt, Christopher Bond and Frank Cipolla will be opening Off Broadway Evil Dead: The Musical based on the 1981 cult classic horror flick by Sam Raimi. It'll be directed by Bond and Hinton Battle, who also choreographed the show. Tying in with the Midnight Movie plot of a group of friends visiting a wooded cabin and unleashing untold evil, they'll be offering performances starting at 11 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Also if you're really into the guts and gore aspect of hack 'em up horror, be sure to ask to sit in the first few rows identified as the "Splatter Zone." No news yet whether the evil book will get a tap dance solo. Previews begin October 1 with the opening November 1 at New World Stages.

Note: This musical was actually in Toronto for a while, and I should have gone then, but I didn't. I'm an idiot!

The Evil EB Games is finally giving better prices on trade ins!

I wanted to trade in 6 of my old games, but my local guy has been closed a lot lately, so I finally caved and went to the evil EB games (Gamestop in US). To my surprise, they actually gave me a good deal on my games for once.

Apparently the Big Wigs at Head Office actually realised they were giving shite on trades in and decided to give them a better value. And they had a deal going on that the more you traded in, the more money you got all together.

Nice to see the Evil EB Games finally listening to their customers.

So today I traded in:

Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance - Got $11 - Regular value $7
Kingdom Hearts 2 - $34($30)
Star Wars: KOTOR 2 - $13($9)
X-Men Legends - $15($11) I originally paid $10 used. Sweet!
Dragon Quest 8 - $11($7) Not the best price here.
Shadow of Rome - $7($3)

Bought with Credits:

Conker: Live and Reload - $25.19 with discount card %10 off
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee - $10 - 2/$20 deal
Prince of Persia: Warrior Within - $10 - 2/$20 deal
Lego Star Wars - $24.99
Prince of Persia - $13.49 with discount card. (Included in 2/$20, but I couldn't find another good game)

Pretty good trade in - 6 games gone/5 games in!

Cracks Appearing in Some DS Lites

Word is spreading of a possible design flaw.
By Li C. Kuo | July 18, 2006

A number of forum posters and websites across the Internet are beginning to report stories of the hinges of DS Lite handhelds cracking. According to some unhappy DS Lite owners, a small crack is appearing on the hinge above the shoulder buttons of their systems. A handful of online posters have also posted pictures of these cracks. Apparently, these cracks tend to be small, and do not affect the playability or performance of the DS Lite. It seems that this is mostly a cosmetic issue, although a couple of posters have claimed that the crack has resulted in some "looseness" when opening and closing the device.

There are a number of theories as to what's causing the crack, but nothing concrete has developed yet. Some gamers are attributing the crack to a design flaw in the mechanism that holds the DS Lite open. We sent a query about this to Nintendo, but haven't heard a reply yet. DS Lite owners are reporting that Nintendo is charging $40 to $50 to repair the crack. While the number of blogs and forum posters may make this seem like a widespread problem, remember that 600,000 DS Lites were sold in the US in June alone. We checked all the DS Lites in the GameSpy offices and are happy to report that no cracks were found on any of them.

SOURCE: www.Gamespy.com

Jul 19, 2006

The Results of the Webpoll

These were the final votes as they stood on Wednesday July 19, 2006:

Tommy Tallarico - 57
Dan "Shoe" Hsu - 49
Cliffy B - 47
Tomonobu Itagaki - 44
Victor Lucas - 40
Kevin Pereira - 33
Tetsuya Nomura - 29
Hideo Kojima - 27
Adam Sessler - 25
Yuri Naka - 24
Jeremy Smith - 21
Stew - 20
Gackt Camui - 19
Tim Schafer - 13
Adrian Smith - 12
Peter Moore - 10
Matt Casamassina - 9
Reggie Fils-Aime - 8
Michel Ancel - 7
Shigeru Miyamoto - 4
Nolan Bushnell - 2
Ralph Baer - 2
Russel Wark - 2
Nobuo Uematsu - 1
Peter Molyneux - 1

That's how everyone did.

Jul 18, 2006

In Need of Support

I know all already stated this a couple times before, but I need to know your reading my new sites.

A month ago I got picked up as an editor/writer for a site called SugarJoy.com. SugarJoy is a news site that covers the topic of sex in video games. I post anything from online games, to upcoming games, to videos and more.

Check out Sugarjoy.com and leave me a comment on the posts you like. Or even send me an email if you find something I can post about on there. Send stuff to faithnaked@yahoo.ca

I'm also an editor now on Destructoid.com, which is a hardcore gamer news site. You'll find everything to do with video games and more. Please check out the site and feel free to comment on the stories. They'll have an interview with me on the site probably by Monday.

I have two articles already on there:

Sex or Video Games?
List of Gaming Truths

Finally I helping the guys over at www.redassedbaboon.com relaunch the site within the next two months. I'm already writing a column over there called A Girl Next Door. Check out it out and leave a message in the shoutbox. Just ignore the spambots that live there, cause well hell we do.

Please head over to the sites and leave me some comments.

Link Gets His Groove On?

Got love this japanese commercial for Legend of Zelda: Link to the past!

Jul 17, 2006

A Guide to Getting Your Guy to Game.

Ladies, tired of your sports playing, constant gym going boyfriend? Wanna train him to be the next video gaming nerd?

Well look no further than Got-Next.com's "Guide to getting your guy to game" to get the football out of your hunk's hands and a controller into them.

Click here to start training your man

Who knew Mario was such a player?

Mario has had several lovely ladies over the years that he has had to rescue from evil monsters. With such pretty ladies as Princess Toadstool, Princess Peach and Daisy dominating the Mario titles over the years, we tend to forget the first pretty little thing that caused Mario to climb the construction site and face the formidable Donkey Kong back in the 1989 arcade version. Pauline was the first damsel in distress to scream out Mario’s name and yet very few gamers remember her. Lucky for a new generation, Pauline is getting a second chance to shine in a new title for the Nintendo DS.

The upcoming Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis will feature the lovely brunette in the red dress, Pauline as the focus of Mario’s rescue efforts this time around. Nintendo.com released these plot details for the game:

It seems folks love those Mini Mario toys. So much so that the Mario Toy Company has expanded the line to include Mini Donkey Kong, Mini Toad and Mini Peach figures to the series. With all these toys bringing him more money than he knows what to do with, Mario decides to fulfill his lifelong dream and open a theme park called Super Mini Mario World.

The opening-day crowd includes Pauline and Donkey Kong, who immediately falls head over heels for the lovely lass. The proud ape tries to show off his Mini DK toy to Pauline, but she picks the Mini Mario toy over his and the jealous Donkey Kong becomes enraged. He smashes the displays, destroys the toys and takes Pauline to the top floor of the amusement park. Players must find Pauline and save the day.

I hope this new title will start a tread of included the forgotten Pauline in the future Mario titles. After all, she is the reason for Mario’s rising to stardom; if Donkey Kong hadn’t kidnapped her, Mario wouldn’t have been pushed into the hero role. Pauline deserves her return to the spot after all this time of being left behind.

Jul 16, 2006

Sam and Max are Back!

Finally someone made my wishes come true: The guys over at Telltale Games have created a series of new Sam and Max games for sale.

Check out the story and view some footage of the game.

Click Here to Go

Sing Along With the Song!

I seen this Japanese commercial for "Chu Chu Rocket" on X-Play one day and just had to find a copy of it to post on my site. I absolutely love it.

Jul 13, 2006

Nominations for the Hottest Game Industry Guys.

Cliffy B asked me to post this picture - its his favorite.

Not to long ago, I ran a webpoll to find a Top Ten Hottest Video Game Guy Characters and I found there was a huge response.

When trying to get the official list posted over at different gaming sites, I received an email from the editor of Gamespy.com, Will Tuttle, in which he asked if he was included in the list. (He thought the list was for video game industry guys) This gave me an idea; why not do a list of the Hottest Video Game Industry Guys. I mean there are some hotties out there and how could you not drool over the guys that bring us the best means of entertainment possible.

Below are the names, bios, and pictures of the nominated guys.

Check out the guy and then vote on the webpoll on the sidebar. I will open up the polls each day to allow for extra voting.

The polls will be open till next Wednesday.

To the guys listed amongst the nominated: I hope this little webpoll doesn't upset or insult you in any way. I am a huge fan of each and every guy on this list and I have the utmost respect for your work in the industry. But that doesn't mean I can't stare at your butt as you walk by. :)

HAPPY VOTING!

Reginald Fils-Aime

Reginald "Reggie" Fils-Aime is currently the President and Chief Operating Officer for the North American division of Japan-based video game company, Nintendo. He was promoted to the position on May 25, previously holding the position of Executive Vice President of Sales and Marketing.

Shigeru Miyamoto

Miyamoto is the creator of such Nintendo characters as Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, Zelda, and Pikimin. He is currently the Director and General Manager of Nintendo Entertainment Analysis and Development (EAD), the corporate sector of Nintendo of Japan.

Nolan Bushnell

Nolan K. Bushnell is an electrical engineer and entrepreneur from the United States who founded both Atari, Inc. and the Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza-Time Theaters chain. He is also known as the creator of the famous game, Pong.

Nobuo Uematsu

Nobuo Uematsu is a Japanese composer of video game music, and one of the most well-known in the field. He has composed music for many games produced by Squaresoft and Square Enix, including the Final Fantasy series of role playing games, and some pieces for Chrono Trigger.

Ralph Baer

Ralph Baer is the creator of the first home console, the brown box which was sold to Magnavox and renamed the Odyssey. He also the created the first light gun and puzzle game, Simon.

Tim Schafer

Tim Schafer was a game designer for Lucasarts. He created such memorable games like The Secret of Monkey Island, Full Throttle, and Day of the Tentacle. He currently owns his own company, Double Fine Productions, where he has created his newest game, Psychonauts.

Peter Molyneux

Peter Molyneux is the computer game designer that created Bullfrog Productions. There he developed such great games like Populous, and Theme Park. He left Bullfrog in 1997 to create a new company Lionhead Studios, where he has developed such great games like Black and White, and The Movies.

Yuji Naka

Hideo Kojima

Tomonobu Itagaki

Tomonobu Itagaki is a Japanese video game designer who heads Team Ninja, one of Tecmo's development teams. He is the creator of the Dead or Alive series.

Cliff Bleszinski

Cliff Bleszinski, frequently known online as CliffyB, is a lead game designer for the successful game development company Epic Games in Raleigh. He is the creator of such memorable games like the Unreal Tournament Series and the upcoming Gears of War.

Tetsuya Nomura

Tetsuya Nomura is a game and character designer at Square Enix. He is most famous for his continuing work on the Final Fantasy Series.

Adam Sessler

Adam Sessler is the co-host and senior segment producer of G4 TV’s video game review show, X-Play. He also occasionally appears on Attack of the Show to do a segment on the upcoming gaming news.

Victor Lucas

Tommy Tallerico

Tallarico has worked on over three-hundred titles including the Earthworm Jim series, MDK, Spot Goes to Hollywood, Maximo, and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. He recently worked on the videogame Advent Rising.

Kevin Pereira

Kevin Pereira is the host of G4's Attack of the show. He has hosted or been a guest on many other G4 programs including Pulse, Arena, G4TV.com, X-Play and Robot Wars.

Russel Wark

Russel Wark is a programmer for Probe. His lovely wife nominated him. How sweet is that. Give it up for Russel!

Gackt Camui

Gackt Camui is a music composer and once a member of a rock band, Malice Mizer. He was also involved in the PlayStation 2 game 'Bujingai', for which he performed some of the voices as well as doing motion capture for the game's protagonist. He has also appeared in Japanese commercials for the hit game 'Metal Gear Solid 2', and his name appeared on a dog tag in the game.

Peter Moore

Peter Moore is the head of Microsoft's Interactive Entertainment Business division, which includes the Xbox and Xbox 360 game consoles. He also rose to prominence at Sega, being a heavy figure in the company's North American operations during the Dreamcast era. Moore played a pivotal role in the company’s decision to change its business strategy to become a platform-agnostic software publisher. At the time of leaving Moore was president and CEO of SEGA of America.

Stew

Stew works as a game developer (I think) at RetroDev Games: Grunge Game Developers. What the hell the guy’s cute and his friends nominated him. Give it up for Stew!

Adrian Smith

Adrian Smith is co-founder of Circle Studio, creators of Without Warning. He was also the former Operation Director of Core Design, creators of Tomb Raider.

Jeremy Smith

Jeremy Smith is co-founder of Circle Studio, creators of Without Warning. He was also the former head of Core Design, creators of Tomb Raider. Adrian and Jeremy are brothers.

Matt Casamassina

Matt Casamassina is the Editor in Chief of IGN Wii at IGN Entertainment and write several previews and reviews of Nintendo games.

Dan Hsu

Dan "Shoe" Hsu is the Editor in Chief of Electronic Gaming Monthly and also worked on the site, gamers.com.

Michel Ancel

Michel Ancel is the French game designer at Ubisoft and is known as the creator of Rayman and Beyond Good & Evil. He first job designing was with a software company called Lankhor.

Jul 12, 2006

Another Story that Includes me.

I recently made friends with a New York writer that does stuff for wired news.

He just did a story where he mentions me. Please check out the story and leave him a happy message. This guy is a great writer and I hope to do a story with him soon.

Check out: Sex, Candy and Video Games

THIS CHICK IS HAWT!

Sorry for the rehash, but this chick is hawt. Someone actually thought she was me, and I was so flattered.

Check out the post already

http://www.destructoid.com/video-game-bikinis

Stupid Politicians.....

Gotta love John Stuart

Dead or Alive Trailer

Another crappy video game movie, but at least you can't feel bad for getting turned on by the Dead or Alive girls now.

Jul 11, 2006

Could We See a HD XBox 360?

Rumors and blurry pictures from unknown sources have suggested that Microsoft is creating Xbox 360s with HD drive capabilites. Though this will screw all old Xbox 360 owners from ever having an HD drive, it will hurt Sony when the console wars begin this winter. Take that Sony!

Jul 10, 2006

The Grittiest Video Games Ever

Better put the kids to bed before you read this one.

With all the talk of Video Games and how bad they are for our youth, I decided to give a short list of some of the worst video games for violence, racism and sexual content that have ever hit the main stream market. And trust me, some of these games will make Grand Theft Auto look tame.

Phantasmagoria 1

In this game, you play Adrienne, a woman who’s just bought a house that use to be owned by a magician that became possessed and killed all his wives. This was probably the first video game that scared the crap out of me. I actually had to turn the censor mode on half way through this game, because I couldn’t stand to watch any more disturbing scenes. Several scenes in this game depicted characters being brutal murdered in horrible ways like being stabbed through the throat by a trowel or being feed animal entrails to death. The scene where the possessed husband proceeds to rape the main character, his wife in the bathroom was probably what scarred me the most for life though. What makes this game seem even worse is the fact that the characters were not computer generated images, but real actors caught on film.

Phantasmagoria 2

This game like its previous version had several blood and gore scenes, and this time more sex scenes, but at least this time the sex is consensual between the people. Probably the most disturbing scenes in the game include a man ripping a woman’s leg off and then electrocuting her through her bloody stumps, a double of the main character eating human entrails and then showing a human eye between his teeth and the main character dreaming that he rips a naked woman’s guts out. Again this game took the sex, violence and gore to a higher level when the people committing the acts were real, and not computer generated images.

Postal Game Series

The first game follows a deranged psycho path as he goes on a massive killing spree. The object of the game is to kill as many people as possible in as many different horrible ways as possible. You can set people on fire, or pump them full of lead as they crawl away bleeding on the ground. The targets of the game were police officers, normal people, and such.
The second game puts you in the role of the postal guy who has to avoid killing people or going nuts, but the game makes that impossible as every character is out to either hurt you or piss you off. The game contained several upsetting items such as the ability to play fetch with a dog using a human head, using cats as silencers, being able to piss on people, etc. This was probably the worst game in the series.
There is apparently a third game in the series in the works for the PC and Xbox 360.

Chiller

In this arcade game, the object of the game is to shoot all the people in the room with your crossbow. The people were shown naked and chained to walls, strapped onto racks and other torture devices. As you shot each person, their bodies would reveal more blood, and bones. You could also shoot the torture devices to active them and watch as the person was crushed or torn apart. The best part was you got to use a light gun to shoot your victims for more realism. Goodie!

Custer’s Revenge

This Atari game had you play as General George Custer, a naked little guy with a hard on that you had to guide across the screen, avoiding the falling arrows to the awaiting bound Indian maiden. Once you reached her, Custer was then able to rape her in celebration of not being killed by the arrows.

The Punisher

This game could have been your run of the mill third person shooter but the interrogation elements of the game turned this into a gore feast. As the Punisher, you are required to interrogation some of your enemies for information and in doing so, you have the use of all sorts of different items and methods. The interrogation scenes can get pretty sick as you can use wood chippers, fireplaces, street curbs, car doors, buzz saws, etc. to scare them into telling you things.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day

This featured a furry little squirrel named Conker that cursed, pissed on his enemies, rolled around in feces, and loved to get drunk. This game was full of foul language, violence, sexual content; all the things we love! From singing piles of feces to little furry bears being blowing to bloody messes, this game sank to the very lowest of low brow humour, but somehow I still loved it. To think that Conker was originally created as a children’s game for the Gameboy.

Guy Game

This game featured bikini wearing girls that flashed the player when they answered a stupid trivia question correctly, which would have been fine, except one of the girls was found to be underage at the time. Apparently one of the ladies featured in the game had used a fake id to gain access to the bar that the game footage was filmed in. The game had to be banned and all copies of it had to be pulled from the shelves and replaced with versions created without the girl’s footage.

Manhunt

In this game, you play as James Earl Cash who has agreed to be the main character in a live snuff film in exchange for your freedom. After agreeing to this, you find yourself scrolling the streets killing off thugs in as many horrible ways as possible like taking their heads off with a piece of barred wire, or hitting them to death with a crowbar to the face. Fun!

Smash TV

Think “Running Man” with a lot of gore. Even though this game was on the NES, the game still had pretty graphic violence for its day.

Thrill Kill

This fighting game made Mortal Kombat look tame, as each character was a psycho path with a weapon. The game had a kill meter that filled as you inflicted more damage on your opponent, and drained if you ran from them. The more violent you were, the quicker it filled. Characters included Dr. Faustus, a madman with a bear trap for a mouth and a very sharp scalpel; Imp, a midget who walked on very sharp stilts and knew what other uses sharp sticks could be put to; and Mammoth, a colossal guy who was the "embodiment of primal rage and fury”. There was even a sexy French maid that could kick your ass. Ohh La La!

Dream World

This game was one of the first mainstream games to have an uncensored sex scene in it. You play as Ryan who has a strange dream where a monk asks Ryan to be the Deliverer and kill the seven evils in order to break the dreamweb (confused yet). As Ryan, you spend the game killing all of these evils, while trying to figure out if the dream was real or if you’re really just going mad. The game provided violent deaths for each of the evils as you crush one under a crate, kill another one under his bed as he begs for his life, and blow another into two pieces and then finish her with a gun shot to the head. I love point and click games that allow you to be creative in killing your foes.

Splatter House

In this game, you play as Rick, a young man that has to search a creepy mansion for his girlfriend, Jennifer. Jennifer disappears after you are knocked out and wake up with a strange mask (a hockey mask... how original) on your face which you cannot remove. You spend the game fighting strange monsters with weapons such as harpoons, shotguns, etc. The monster ranged from hanging zombies that puked on you, muck monsters that rose from the sewers, and severed hands that chased you down the hall. There were even fetus monsters... gross.

Narc

This game may not have sold as many copies as GTA, but it sure as hell is worse in terms of horrible content. In Narc, you play as two corrupt cops that are trying to bring down a drug cartel. You use different weapons to shoot loads of bad guys, hookers and innocent bystanders, use real drugs to enhance your skills, and even sell drugs to the locals. You do have a choice to play the game as a good guy by turning in evidence, and not using drugs, but honestly if you bought this game in the first place, than do you really think you’re going play it the good way.

25 To Life

Not only is this a terrible game to play in the first place, but the game’s content is also nothing but one long horrible racist stereotype. You play as three different characters: the gangster Shaun Calderon, Detective Lester Williams and Andre Freeze Francis, and each of these characters have different missions they must complete to progress in the game. The main character, Freeze has decided to get out of the gangster life, but his friend tells him he has to do one more job before he can go. This is where your character is betrayed and you spend the rest of the game killing everyone in sight. The game is full of foul language, bloody killings, and the worst ideas on what actually happens in the real world. Most enemies don’t notice you until you’re right on top of them, and will even kill themselves before you do. How nice of them!

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