Not sure where the original found this, but it was too cute not to post.
Aperture experimental and highly classified technology. Test duties include completing tests without dying, following orders, which may include the enhanced truth, and accepting cake at the end of the trial period. Due to the classified nature of the technology, participants must stay as a test subject at Aperture Laboratories for a minimum of 10 years, starting from when the contract is signed. By reading this wanted poster, you automatically accept the contract to work at Aperture Labs. Congratulations!
To report your whereabouts send a letter to:
Portal Dev. Dept.
PO BOX 1688
Bellevue, WA 98009
Or call:
1-425-889-9642
or yell:
"I WANT TO GET MY CAKE" and assume the party-escort submission position.
[Via Live Journal Girl Gamer]
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