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Dec 5, 2006
A Video Game Writer's Guide to Original Content
Everyone knows that every good video game blog needs original content to compete with the big boys and bring in the readers, but finding or creating original content can be difficult. That’s why I created ten tips for the struggle video game blog writer to create original content.
1. Original News Stories
Tired of always being the last to hear about a big news story, well stop whining, and start making your own. Instead of waiting for the next industry person to get a drunk drinking charge, find your own video game designer, get him drunk and put him behind the wheel yourself. Bonus points for being the other car he hits.
Sexual harassment suits don’t just happen by themselves, people. Ladies, find yourself a big name video game person, dress slutty and then after you orchestrate a boob brush, claim sexual harassment. Guys, you can also try this. Take one for the team and get someone like Peter Moore into a compromising position for some great photo ops. Who cares if the world will think you’re gay, you will have the scoop of your life.
Kidnapping a major player is good too, and then blogging about it. When the time is right, you could be the first person to find the blog site, reveal the location of the kidnapped and then after a small stay in prison, sell the rights to your bio. It’s a win, win situation.
2. Video Game Crafts
We all love to read and post little stories about a cute Mario blanket made by hand, or a cross stitched Master Chief picture. Well instead of looking for the next cute little pillow with Kirby on it, make it, damn it. Learn how to paint, sew or create paper mache and make the next big video game craft. May I suggest a life-sized Master Chief made out of Popsicle sticks or perhaps an entire room decorated as a tribute to Dead or Alive? Also don’t forget about making your own costumes for cosplay posts. I wanna see a Gears of War costume made entirely out of paper mache. Guys, you can always take the easy route and dress up as Link or any Final Fantasy character for a quick surge of embarrassment posts from other sites.
3. Insider Game Information
Stop whining about how all the writers you know have the inside track due to their insider contacts and get out there are make your own friends. Find all the game developer companies in your area and start hanging around the bars near them. Sooner or later, you’ll run into someone that works for a game developer. Once you make contact, try impressing the hell out of them to make them your best friend; I suggest money bribes and hookers. Once you make friends, you can then grill them for insider info on their latest game. If they refuse to tell you anything, then get them drunk. The info should flow like wine after that.
4. First Game Reviews
Always tiring to beat a game as fast as you can to be the first one to write a review about it, well stress no more. Instead of waiting to buy a game on the first day of release or even waiting for it to come to you from your friends at the game company, break into the studio months in advance and steal the beta versions of the game. That way you have months to review it and you don’t have to worry about anyone getting it before you.
5. You Tube or Google Videos
Its time to stop surfing the You Tube site every day looking for the newest and best video for the site. Instead take a page from the book of Ron Workman and make your own. Bonus points if you include video games and setting yourself on fire.
6. Tech Posts
Instead of waiting for someone else to do it, take your own consoles, controllers and handhelds apart to see what they’re made of. Sure, you may not be able to put it back together, but the story will be well worth the sacrifice. Even better try kidnapping someone famous in the video game industry like Hideo Kojima and have a brain surgeon cut his head open and probe his brain on camera for the ultimate look at what makes a video game genius tick.
We've seen what people can do with their consoles, controllers, etc. when they combine then with a shoe, coffee maker, etc. So instead of waiting for someone else to make the next cool mod, get off your duff and do it yourself. Bonus points if you modify your controller to control your dog.
8. Scientific Articles
For some of smart writers out there, why not try doing a scientific piece of the mating habits of Pokemon, or piñatas. Think there’s a hidden message inside all the Sonic the Hedgehog games or perhaps a conspiracy to bring down Nintendo. Well then share your crazy… I mean ingenious thoughts with the world. Bonus points if you really do find a conspiracy to bring down Nintendo.
9. Borrow Original Articles
Instead of using your amazing intellect to create original content, just use it to hack into other game journalists’ computers and steal their original content. Just make sure you change a few words here and there, so no one will suspect the theft.
10. Make Stuff Up
If all else fails, just make crap up.