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Jul 10, 2006

The Grittiest Video Games Ever

Better put the kids to bed before you read this one.

With all the talk of Video Games and how bad they are for our youth, I decided to give a short list of some of the worst video games for violence, racism and sexual content that have ever hit the main stream market. And trust me, some of these games will make Grand Theft Auto look tame.

Phantasmagoria 1

In this game, you play Adrienne, a woman who’s just bought a house that use to be owned by a magician that became possessed and killed all his wives. This was probably the first video game that scared the crap out of me. I actually had to turn the censor mode on half way through this game, because I couldn’t stand to watch any more disturbing scenes. Several scenes in this game depicted characters being brutal murdered in horrible ways like being stabbed through the throat by a trowel or being feed animal entrails to death. The scene where the possessed husband proceeds to rape the main character, his wife in the bathroom was probably what scarred me the most for life though. What makes this game seem even worse is the fact that the characters were not computer generated images, but real actors caught on film.

Phantasmagoria 2

This game like its previous version had several blood and gore scenes, and this time more sex scenes, but at least this time the sex is consensual between the people. Probably the most disturbing scenes in the game include a man ripping a woman’s leg off and then electrocuting her through her bloody stumps, a double of the main character eating human entrails and then showing a human eye between his teeth and the main character dreaming that he rips a naked woman’s guts out. Again this game took the sex, violence and gore to a higher level when the people committing the acts were real, and not computer generated images.

Postal Game Series

The first game follows a deranged psycho path as he goes on a massive killing spree. The object of the game is to kill as many people as possible in as many different horrible ways as possible. You can set people on fire, or pump them full of lead as they crawl away bleeding on the ground. The targets of the game were police officers, normal people, and such.
The second game puts you in the role of the postal guy who has to avoid killing people or going nuts, but the game makes that impossible as every character is out to either hurt you or piss you off. The game contained several upsetting items such as the ability to play fetch with a dog using a human head, using cats as silencers, being able to piss on people, etc. This was probably the worst game in the series.
There is apparently a third game in the series in the works for the PC and Xbox 360.

Chiller

In this arcade game, the object of the game is to shoot all the people in the room with your crossbow. The people were shown naked and chained to walls, strapped onto racks and other torture devices. As you shot each person, their bodies would reveal more blood, and bones. You could also shoot the torture devices to active them and watch as the person was crushed or torn apart. The best part was you got to use a light gun to shoot your victims for more realism. Goodie!

Custer’s Revenge

This Atari game had you play as General George Custer, a naked little guy with a hard on that you had to guide across the screen, avoiding the falling arrows to the awaiting bound Indian maiden. Once you reached her, Custer was then able to rape her in celebration of not being killed by the arrows.

The Punisher

This game could have been your run of the mill third person shooter but the interrogation elements of the game turned this into a gore feast. As the Punisher, you are required to interrogation some of your enemies for information and in doing so, you have the use of all sorts of different items and methods. The interrogation scenes can get pretty sick as you can use wood chippers, fireplaces, street curbs, car doors, buzz saws, etc. to scare them into telling you things.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day

This featured a furry little squirrel named Conker that cursed, pissed on his enemies, rolled around in feces, and loved to get drunk. This game was full of foul language, violence, sexual content; all the things we love! From singing piles of feces to little furry bears being blowing to bloody messes, this game sank to the very lowest of low brow humour, but somehow I still loved it. To think that Conker was originally created as a children’s game for the Gameboy.

Guy Game

This game featured bikini wearing girls that flashed the player when they answered a stupid trivia question correctly, which would have been fine, except one of the girls was found to be underage at the time. Apparently one of the ladies featured in the game had used a fake id to gain access to the bar that the game footage was filmed in. The game had to be banned and all copies of it had to be pulled from the shelves and replaced with versions created without the girl’s footage.

Manhunt

In this game, you play as James Earl Cash who has agreed to be the main character in a live snuff film in exchange for your freedom. After agreeing to this, you find yourself scrolling the streets killing off thugs in as many horrible ways as possible like taking their heads off with a piece of barred wire, or hitting them to death with a crowbar to the face. Fun!

Smash TV

Think “Running Man” with a lot of gore. Even though this game was on the NES, the game still had pretty graphic violence for its day.

Thrill Kill

This fighting game made Mortal Kombat look tame, as each character was a psycho path with a weapon. The game had a kill meter that filled as you inflicted more damage on your opponent, and drained if you ran from them. The more violent you were, the quicker it filled. Characters included Dr. Faustus, a madman with a bear trap for a mouth and a very sharp scalpel; Imp, a midget who walked on very sharp stilts and knew what other uses sharp sticks could be put to; and Mammoth, a colossal guy who was the "embodiment of primal rage and fury”. There was even a sexy French maid that could kick your ass. Ohh La La!

Dream World

This game was one of the first mainstream games to have an uncensored sex scene in it. You play as Ryan who has a strange dream where a monk asks Ryan to be the Deliverer and kill the seven evils in order to break the dreamweb (confused yet). As Ryan, you spend the game killing all of these evils, while trying to figure out if the dream was real or if you’re really just going mad. The game provided violent deaths for each of the evils as you crush one under a crate, kill another one under his bed as he begs for his life, and blow another into two pieces and then finish her with a gun shot to the head. I love point and click games that allow you to be creative in killing your foes.

Splatter House

In this game, you play as Rick, a young man that has to search a creepy mansion for his girlfriend, Jennifer. Jennifer disappears after you are knocked out and wake up with a strange mask (a hockey mask... how original) on your face which you cannot remove. You spend the game fighting strange monsters with weapons such as harpoons, shotguns, etc. The monster ranged from hanging zombies that puked on you, muck monsters that rose from the sewers, and severed hands that chased you down the hall. There were even fetus monsters... gross.

Narc

This game may not have sold as many copies as GTA, but it sure as hell is worse in terms of horrible content. In Narc, you play as two corrupt cops that are trying to bring down a drug cartel. You use different weapons to shoot loads of bad guys, hookers and innocent bystanders, use real drugs to enhance your skills, and even sell drugs to the locals. You do have a choice to play the game as a good guy by turning in evidence, and not using drugs, but honestly if you bought this game in the first place, than do you really think you’re going play it the good way.

25 To Life

Not only is this a terrible game to play in the first place, but the game’s content is also nothing but one long horrible racist stereotype. You play as three different characters: the gangster Shaun Calderon, Detective Lester Williams and Andre Freeze Francis, and each of these characters have different missions they must complete to progress in the game. The main character, Freeze has decided to get out of the gangster life, but his friend tells him he has to do one more job before he can go. This is where your character is betrayed and you spend the rest of the game killing everyone in sight. The game is full of foul language, bloody killings, and the worst ideas on what actually happens in the real world. Most enemies don’t notice you until you’re right on top of them, and will even kill themselves before you do. How nice of them!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm confused about the title you chose versus the content of your post.

Is it about games that extremely violent or ones that feature horrible gameplay / production values?

Usually when worst comes to mind, especially with this post I think poor, horrible, crap, etc.

Unknown said...

Always my little editor, aren't you Bandersnatch?

I fixed the title just for you, honey.

:)

Anonymous said...

Honey? Is it safe to assume we're operating under pet names now, my little wench? I guess we are. ;)

Now back to my original motive for replying back. While I'm thankful for your revision, what would really put the polish on this post is a more concise headline.

What do you think "The Raciest Video Games Ever"?

Short and sweet, just like how I like my women.

Anonymous said...

Good list but really lacks some japanese additions like Dividead and any of those stalker/rapist games they release every other week.

Anyway, im suscribing to your blog :)

Unknown said...

Why do I listen to you, Bandersnatch?

I changed my blog post to a better name, and then found out a couple of sites linked to the post.

Now the links are broken and I'm losing out on the links!

DAMN YOU!

Anonymous said...

Damn me? Damn you for listening me!

;)

What happened to your foresight?!?

Anonymous said...

Two reasons:

1) The second one was horrible. Absolutely horrible.
2) The industry was changing direction as gamers were getting sick of FMV and click-your-own adventure style games.

Shortly after this, Sierra rotted away (massive layoffs, closing down studios, Dynamix comes to mind) under CUC International then Cendant Software, eventually becoming just another publishing label under VU Games.

Such a shame. Sierra was one of my favorite game companies of all time.

Anonymous said...

Harvester. Look it up. Probably would make the second most graphic game on your list. One of the few games to feature babies eating their mother alive.

Also, the entire game is supposed to be a serial killer training simulation.

MC said...

When I was a kid, I remember this arcade game called Time Killers. It was pretty nasty for its day.