Review: Batman: Arkham Asylum

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Eidos Interactive, Rocksteady Studios
Available for Playstation 3 and Xbox 360.

Greetings The Girl Gamer readers! Joker here. I bet your wondering what I, the Clown Prince of Crime is doing writing an article for the good old Girl Gamer here, well sit a spell and I’ll tell ya. See Harley and I were in Canada picking up some lovely new chemicals to use on Gotham City and I just happen to hear about this new game starring my favourite target, Batman.

Of course, being a huge fan of the Dork Knight, I just had to steal me a copy of this Batman: Arkham Asylum, so I headed down to the local St. Catharines videogame store, EB Games and tortured the employees until they found me a copy. Apparently those guys really love their videogames but not so much when they become the disc slot. HAAAAA!

Anyway, I was already to send a bunch of exploding Joker gas bombs disguised as whoopee cushions to the jerks at Rocksteady for creating another homage to that flying rodent but instead I decided to let those maroons live when I saw they created a Joker Edition for the Playstation 3. “Jumping Jiminy Christmas,” I thought to myself, “I need to find me a local website to take over and get the word out about this amazing game.” And so I did and here we are. Oh and don’t expect to find Faith up and about any time soon, kids. She wasn’t exactly happy about my arrival, so I had to change her view – Joker style. *evil laugh*


So like I was saying, those wonderful developers were smart enough to make a game edition featuring me. How fantastic! Of course, the game still centers on old Batsie but the plot has him chasing me through Arkham Asylum after I escape the guards. I have him running through Arkham like a rat in a maze, so the game isn’t a total loss. Of course, my henchmen and I aren’t the only ones who get to beat up on old Fatman as there are tons of my fellow wackos in crime around to help throw a few punches like my sweet Harley Quinn and the Scarecrow. I would have appreciated a few more faces from Gotham's most wanted in the game to beat up on Bats, but I guess you take what you can get.

Though for all the henchmen I throw at that annoying freak, the developers felt it necessary to give all the perks to Batman in order to help him stay alive throughout the game. I really hate that about him. From his cool Bat gadgets to his easy to master fighting controls, Batman has everything he needs to take out all my henchmen and survive the big boss battles. It sucks. Though I have to say I even I liked the inverted takedown move and he was taking out my henchmen. :P

The game offered up combat challenges where Batman must either fighting a series of henchmen for points or take out the henchmen with a series of special moves, all for points. In the Joker Edition, they gave me my own challenge rooms and those were a blast. Nothing like sneaking up on an Arkham guard, shooting him, and then waiting to take out all his buddies with a Joker denotation toy when they come to check out him. KABOOM! HAAAAAA! Classic.

Along with the in-game plot, Batman also has a few side quests to distract him from catching me like solving a bunch of riddles around Arkham Island which were placed there by the Riddler. Attention stealer. And then Batman also has the Spirit of Arkham story to find and decipher – now there was a real ham. For the slower people of there, the Riddler does leave a map in each area to help you find all his items.


I must say those doodlers at Rocksteady did a fabulous job at making Arkham Asylum look and feel like home. From the creepy medical equipment to the padded cells, they almost made me wish I locked up again and scheduled for some shock therapy. Ah, memories. Too bad Batman gets the run of the place though. How dare they let him hide on gargoyles and crash through glass ceilings in order to take us out when he should be in one of those padded cells with us.

At least, they got my voice right in the game with that amazing Joker impersonator, Mark Hamill. Now that’s a guy I could listen to for hours. And Batman’s voice-over guy, Kevin Conroy, talk about dead on with his voice. I never thought anyone could sound that perfectly boring and dismal, but Kevin seems to pull it off wonderfully. You can even hear that lack of sense of humour that Batsie has in his voice too.

Well kiddies, I was all set to cause mirth and mayhem over this new Batman game but when the cards are down, the Joker is the real winner here. True, the game does make Batman look all shiny and new, but how could I hate something that focuses so much on me. So here’s my proposal to the puppets at Rocksteady: change the name from Batman: Arkham Asylum to Joker: Arkham Asylum because we all know who the real draw of this game is anyway. Do that and I’ll see fit to give this game a wonderful review. Don’t and I’ll bomb your studios.... and I will too. HAAAAA!

Rating: 9 out of 10
Buy it

Batman: Arkham Asylum Launch Trailer

So Batman: Arkham Asylum comes out today and after playing the amazing demo, I don't care how I get this game but I will get it.

I will get this game which might not be that hard considering the game is $38 for today only at places like Future Shop, Walmart and Best Buy.

Batman fans have been plagued with horrible game titles for decades now and besides the fun Lego Batman that came out last year, this is the first seriously good Batman to hit the consoles in a long time. Fans of the Dark Knight need to pick this up now and if you haven't played the demo and you own an Xbox 360 or PS3, then download it. You won't be disappointed.

Review: Death Jr.: Root of Evil

Death Jr.: Root of Evil
Eidos Interactive, Backbone Entertainment
Available for the Nintendo Wii

When a seemingly simple school science project to locate cocoons goes hideously wrong, Death Jr. and his pal Pandora accidentally release the villainous Furi upon an unsuspecting mankind. A sexy plant-based vixen of pure evil intent on wreaking havoc across the world, Furi quickly employs hordes of undead creatures from the local toy cemetery to help carve her path of destruction. All of which, quite unsurprisingly, leaves Death Jr. and his ragtag band of mutants tasked with once again saving us all from the clutches of impending doom.

Arriving on the Nintendo Wii as a port of the 2006 PlayStation Portable original, Death Jr.: Root of Evil is somewhat of a departure for long-time series developers Backbone Entertainment in that it gives players the opportunity to tackle Furi and her minions with either Death Jr. or Pandora. While the standard platform game play is largely unaltered by the addition of a second playable character, Pandora's whip abilities and dry sense of humour does succeed in bring some new life to the game.




Rather than deliver a bare bones port of the PSP original, the development team has adapted its standard platform mechanic by adding subtle Wii Remote gestures that make the game feel as though it is actually native to Nintendo's home console rather than an adopted member its software family.

Likely a remnant from the PSP's reliance on a single analog thumb stick, Root of Evil's occasionally twitchy game camera can make jumping chasms, swinging from hooks and poles, and engaging/avoiding the enemy something of an irritating chore because the player does not have the advantage of full directional viewing. Indeed, the Nunchuk's 'C' button, which centres the camera behind the character, is the only viewpoint access given to the player while using melee weapons. The odd thing is, however, that when ranged weaponry is equipped gesturing with the Wii Remote instantly swings the camera freely, accurately targets enemies, and generally helps to survey the immediate surroundings. Of course, while constantly having ranged items equipped is a viable solution that delivers more complete and constant control along with a clearer screen view, it makes no sense to not have such an ability as default for both forms of weaponry; also, having to switch all the time for scythe/whip use only serves to kill the game play.

Considering the inclusion of exploding hamsters and death-by-pop, it's fair to say that Root of Evil doesn't take itself too seriously, and game progression is pushed along merrily by a steady stream of witty one-liners, throwaway movie quotes, and humorous banter during attractively rendered cinematics. So, while the in-game visuals may not be a huge step up from the PSP version and are certainly far-removed from current PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 releases, Backbone has still done a decent job of maintaining player interest through clever writing and a great sense of fun.

Root of Evil does throw up plenty of level creativity, an oddball sense of style, a vivid colour scheme, a great amount of boss diversity, and a pretty satisfying difficulty curve when you consider the 12+ age stamp on the packaging. And, for those disappointed with Backbone's decision to lock character selection throughout the single-player campaign, there's even a split-screen cooperative multiplayer mode that enables Death Jr. and Pandora to play through the game together while kicking butt simultaneously.

Ultimately, it may not help dispel the myth that the Wii cannot deliver visual flare and genre muscle - anyone who's ever played Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess will know that's simply not true - but Death Jr. Root of Evil manages to convincingly sidestep the bargain bin kiss of death thanks to its character appeal, solid platform action, amusing and inventive weaponry, and a control system that largely succeeds in papering over any of its obvious faults.

Rating: 7 out of 10
Buy it

Free games in exchange for your soul

Today it came to light that a Gamespot reviewer, Jeff Gerstmann was fired because of a 6.0 review given to Eidos' Kane and Lynch game. See Eidos is paying Gamespot to plaster the site with Kane and Lynch advertising and they weren't too happy to see such a crappy review score.

So the rumor is that Gamespot fired Jeff because the advertisers were threatening to pull their advertising money and go throw it at some other site pussy whipped site. Another example of journalist integrity going to the highest bidder.

I admit that free videogames, swag and a job that pays you to play videogame sounds sweet and I would probably cut off a limb to get a job like that, but reviewing games based on how happy you want to make the company that produced it because they gave you some free hookers and some blow is not how games should be reviewed.

When I review a game I do my best to review a game with an honest opinion. I'll tell you if I like it, if it sucks or if I'm too dumb to figure the bloody game out. I would hope that a game company would want honest reviews, so that if the game does suck, they can improve upon it. All game reviewers' opinions aside, most gamer still buy games based on playing demos, renting it first or asking their friends. Demos can lie, but friends and rentals don't.

Plus sucky games don't add up to mass sales. They just end up in the sea of the bargain bin at EB Games and Walmart or in the vast regions of eBay listed for $0.99. I've bought crappy games before based on good reviews and have been pissed in the end. Funny thing was that review was on Gamespot. Bastards!!!!

Worst of all, I would never want to tell someone to buy a game based on the fact I don't want to lose the game maker's love, money and freebies, to only have them waste their time and money on a terrible game. How can I review games if I don't have a legion of adoring fans to read my reviews? I won't if I steer them wrong.

So for all gaming journalists out there ... don't drink the kool-aid. You won't like where it takes you.